HAPPINESS: How What Makes Me Happy Has Evolved

Change is a Good Thing

 

In a couple of years, I will be 40 and boy has life changed over the decades. I spend my evenings writing or going for a jog and then relaxing in my night gown. I have 4 children that are 2, 6, 11 and 13. So it is a rare occasion when you will find me without a child occupying my attention.

 

I feel strange if I go anywhere without them because I am so accustomed to having one of these bright souls, if not all of them, at my side. Being with my children makes me happy. This fulfills my heart and soul. 

 

I dress for comfort more often than for fashion. This is not saying I dress like a slob, but if something is not comfortable, I don’t care how good it looks, I will not suffer in wearing it. If you would have asked me 20 years ago I would most definitely have chosen the fashion component because I always wanted to look my best.

 

As a teenager, I would wear high heels because they looked fashionable. On many days, I came home with my feet feeling like they were on fire because of a day of walking in those heels. Blistering feet just to wear shoes that looked runway perfect. My shoes were not made for walking; but designed to look amazing. Today I would rather choose my shoes to look not quite as nice, as long as they felt good.

 

As an adult, I chose comfort often because this is just what makes me content.

 

My once exciting Fridays of going out with friends or a dinner date with my boyfriend—now husband—have evolved into movie nights in pajamas with the kids and my husband. When the night gets exciting, this turns into a game night. There is nothing better than battling it out over properties in a game of Monopoly.

 

This beats the younger years of dinners out and dancing for so many reasons. We can now enjoy our life with a full house sharing happiness and life experiences. This makes me so very happy. I honestly could not imagine it any other way.

 

Gone are the days of staying up until 2 a.m. chattering with friends or having a movie-a-thon. I could not imagine even doing this today. I could not function properly and do all that I must do. Not to mention I have zero desire to stay up that late and battle dark circles under my eyes the next day. Ideally, I like to be in bed by 10:30 and asleep by 11 so I can wake up by 5 a.m. the next day. The early bird gets so much accomplished!

 

My happiness is evolved. What makes me happy today is far different than what made me happy 20 years ago, or even 15 years ago before marriage and children. I have evolved in so many ways because of the life that I have lived.

 

Growing up, I was not happy unless my schedule was jam packed. I had activities on the weekend that included going dancing, dinner, movies, comedy clubs and anything else to keep me on the go. Being busy was part of my identity and without this I would feel less important. I enjoyed visiting tropical islands or Europe to make new memories.

 

Whereas today, if I have a free weekend, I am completely ecstatic because a break is rare

 

And for travel, I am just as happy in our home as we are away. We do not need travel to make new memories because we make so many memories each day. I am usually on the go because of 4 children’s sports, activities and work. This is our life we have built and I am happy for this, but boy has my happiness evolved because of it all.

 

Gifts that once made me so very happy and gave me excitement have even evolved. Electronics, clothing, jewelry and so much more brought that once a smile on my face. This was especially so when I did not expect these gifts. I mean who doesn’t love a surprise?!

 

But as I have aged and lived many experiences, I find some of the best gifts cannot be store bought. Handmade cards, stepping stones, and even jewelry made by little hands are gifts I will cherish for a lifetime. Gifts from my husband turn into a necklace with the kid’s names on it, or a woven blanket of a picture of our family. 

 

Every time I look at these items, it is a reminder of how our happiness has evolved. It sheds light on the life we built together because of what we both wanted out of life—and this makes me ecstatic!

 

What makes me happy today, tomorrow and in the future will evolve and I am sure will continue to do so. I look at everyday as a gift. I feel blessed and I am thankful! I know as our happiness evolves, it will turn into having our mortgage paid off, seeing our children get married and one day being grandparents.

 

Who you are today will be far different to the person you will be in twenty years. So, slow down and enjoy each day. Savor each moment. And make the most out of life!

 

Tara

Tara Zimliki is a nationally recognized weight loss expert, personal trainer, health coach, health writer and founder of Tara’s Bootcamp, the Premiere Bootcamp of New Jersey. Tara also runs her own blog, funfitmama.com

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