HUMAN RIGHTS: There Are Still Good Men in the Era of “Me Too” | ShesIt

Me Too & Good Men

 

When Trump warned women about the risk of falsely accusing our sons, husbands and brothers, etc., it brought up the good men I know and trust in my life. It made me think of the fine men I know who are not threatened by Trump’s admonitions.

 

But I am starting my story lightly here with the show Sex and the City, which aired 1998-2004. I want to look at this seminal show with the subject of “good men” in mind.

 

I loved the friendships between these women who shared the ups and downs of their lives to the backdrop of NYC. It covered such a range of issues between them and their men. But I adored two sub plots that pervaded this show, both having to do with finding the kindest, most trustworthy men.

 

I’m going to focus on the characters Charlotte and Miranda, whom after funny, sad trials and tribulations found truly ethical and kind mates.

 

Charlotte is the proper white Anglo-Saxon, art dealer. She first marries the perfect husband—on paper. A doctor, tall, dark and handsome. However, he was an emotional desert, sexually too. He did not want to have children.

 

Charlotte finds this plucky lawyer for her divorce, named Harry Goldblatt. He was short, bald with a hairy back—nothing like the man of her dreams. He eventually wins Charlotte’s heart, meets her needs and she is finally happy. Why? He was honest, respectful, kind and adoring. In one episode, Charlotte makes a beautiful Shabbat (Sabbath) dinner for him! She eventually converts to Judaism and the two start a family.

 

Miranda is a serious, savvy lawyer, who hooked up with Steve, a down-to-Earth bartender and eventual bar owner. It took her a long time to finally commit to this reliable, lovable diamond-in-the-rough. That episode is called “The One.” Miranda was played by Cynthia Nixon, who ran for Governor of New York, but lost. Still, bravo to her.

 

All these women were resolute in their own way. And these men loved them for it. I still watch the episodes where they bond and it is always heartwarming.

 

Speaking of good guys, I am stating a fact here. My husband, my son, my brother and my nephews have never been in a situation as described in the Kavanaugh hearing. There is not one time when the men in my life have been accused of inappropriate behavior, especially with women.

 

So, even if Sex and the City is fiction, the writers had these people in their lives and their minds. Good men do exist.

 

This is so antithetical to our President’s ill view and treatment of women. In the Ford/Kavanaugh case, he turned it around to portray men as victims. Really? He cautioned women to be aware of the risk to their sons and husbands of false accusations.

 

The men in my world are not intimidated by “Me Too.” We women have raised these good men and married them too. 

 

So, Trump entirely vindicated Kavanaugh, VINDICATED! Really? The FBI investigation was by no means thorough. I wonder if it is because of the mixture of alcohol and an underdeveloped brain excuse. Or is it, boys will be boys?

 

There is a study that maintains men who hold back their anger when not drinking are more susceptible to aggression and violence. This is according to Dr. David Caldicott, emergency medicine consultant at Calvary hospital in Canberra, Australia.

 

He regularly sees the results of alcohol-related violence. He found that personality has more to do with innate aggression than from over-drinking. If people are naturally not in control of anger when sober, they are more likely to be an aggressive alcoholic. He also states that gender has an influence. More men than women are susceptible to aggression when over drinking.

 

I rest my case. Kavanaugh was there at that party. He bragged about being inebriated. This was high school. Then in college, a roommate said Kavanaugh was often drunk, that he was a sloppy drunk. I need more proof one way or the other. I hope the press keeps digging for facts that validate Dr. Ford.

 

I think, “Justice” Kavanaugh’s rulings throughout the years are scary for women. I found him to be mean and disrespectful at the hearing. Also, so did the men in my family. They were aghast when watching this. 

 

I was unable to find out much about Brett Kavanaugh’s upbringing other than he was a Catholic who played sports and partied. Far be it from me to judge his religious Catholic veracity. I don’t think he, along with the president are concerned with ethics.

 

Ladies, we do have the numbers to get out and have our votes count. We are sisters from everywhere, who will make the difference here. Justice will prevail. My mother yet again had a saying, “Two steps forward, one step backward.” Alright I’ll take that. 

 

Beth

Beth grew up in Camden, New Jersey and majored in Education and History at Rutgers University and later obtained a Masters in Family Therapy at Drexel University. She’s married to her husband of 41 years with two young adult children—a daughter and son—who both work in NYC. She loves movies, Netflix, books, history, linguistics and exploring the human condition. From her extensive background, she’s accumulated many stories and lessons and looks forward to shaping the conversation.