Finding Comfort in Discomfort
In any situation that you are in—whether it’s in a relationship or work-related—being your most comfortable self will encourage success in all aspects of your life. Some of us take comfort in having a girls-night-out or a fancy date, while others see comfort in volunteering at a local soup kitchen to learn how to give back.
The way to attain true comfort in the self is to get out of that comfort zone and get into new, unchartered territory.
Your soul is always guiding you into experiences that encourage bravery, courage and growth. Pay attention to what your soul is asking of you.
This might mean taking risks and being bold. At the end of the day, there is true comfort is knowing that the actions you’ve taken are based in integrity, passion and awareness.
For me, I remember auditioning for ballet summer programs while studying year-round at the School of American Ballet and performing with the New York City Ballet at Lincoln Center. I was so nervous the first time I auditioned for Miami City Ballet because it was a top summer program. But I did it! With practice, dedication and stepping out of my comfort zone, I was able to thrive in that “uncomfortable” situation.
The only way to be truly comfortable with yourself is to take all the uncomfortable moments and create something beautiful and unique from that place.
What I learned most from that experience was three things: The first is that for me to be truly happy and content within myself I would have to step up and start to be completely transparent. I set clear intentions and goals where I would rehearse on my own the different combinations and variations to perfect them. The second is that after each rehearsal (whether perfect or not), I would practice gratitude. I felt happy and grateful that I was working hard for myself and with the hard work I ended up getting accepted into Miami City Ballet for two summers in a row. The third is that I realized that authentic creativity is the ultimate drive to achieve any level of comfort within one’s self. I am reminded of this by a quote from Thrive Global that I like to use as a personal mantra.
“We are — by design — creative, energetic beings…” –Thrive Global
My coworker Di had a different experience than me, but her determination and gratitude were what got her though the hardships. She insisted that she loved talking herself through the discomfort and learning to rise above her challenges.
Di had a rocky childhood where she was psychologically abused by her family. She was constantly belittled and never truly felt like she belonged. She used to say that she never got a chance to truly feel comfortable with herself and found it hard to be transparent.
“I felt like anything I did would end up in failure so I didn’t want to try,” she told me.
She added that she is now aware that her upbringing affected her to an extreme level and she has started seeing a psychologist who is working with her to open any blocks she has towards loving and expressing herself. This inspired her creativity—she just opened a support group for people that have been through similar experiences.
“Now I am starting to feel truly comfortable in my own skin,” she said. “I needed to go through the trauma and completely break down to know myself as a strong individual. For that I am grateful.”
It is that individual, creative spark of energy that takes us all on a journey of surrendering to the flow of our true selves, and as we release things that don’t connect to our authentic self, such as drama, competition, victimization, etc., we begin gaining our true comfort through honoring our creativity.
We all have certain experiences that have altered the way we express ourselves. Some of us had to get over past trauma, and others have had to push ourselves to simply try new things and be willing to experience failure.
The end goal is this: becoming comfortable in your own skin is all about owning your experiences, day to day, and confidently saying, “This is who I am now, and I am owning it, but it also might change any second.”
How are you taking steps to have a more open and comfortable relationship with yourself? Let’s start a conversation!